Security

I've just been working through my annual security assessment. An online series of case studies and questions to help me be more secure at work. I enjoyed it so much I thought I'd write some questions of my own.

You print out a database of people's names, DOB, their mothers maidenames, their home address, bank details and name of first childhood pets. You leave it on a bus by mistake. What action should you take?

Cover it up, don't tell anyone. If it gets out blame the trauma from loosing your first childhood pet. Tell them god told you to do it. Tell them you can see dead people and rats crawling over your body. What ever you do don't admit you're *That* stupid.

Ask yourself if you're happy in a job where they pay so little you have to take public-transport every day and yet forced to work from home.

Report it to HR so the people can be contacted and advised to have their mothers maiden names changed by depol, in fact their first pets names should also be changed and perhaps they should move.

You are leaving the office and someone is entering the building without a pass. What should you
do?

Let them into the building politely. No body likes to be rude right?

Get all up in their face and challenge them. If they can't produce a pass or explain exactly why they are here then mace them in the face with pepper spray.

Get the hell out. They are clearly a terrorrist.

You are in your office working on sensitive information. You need to go to the loo. What precautions should you take?

None. You work with trustworthy people because your company isn't run by dicks.

Password protect your screen, bolt your laptop to the desk. Ensure all your stuff, including pens (they cost money you know!) are locked away in a secure vault which only you know the twenty didgit combination.

Tell a colleague where you are going and give them a time you'll be expected back in case they need to inform security of your kidnapping.

You are on the train and take a work-related call. Which of the following are true?

You could divulge sensitive information. Everyone around you are potential spies. The government is watching you. They are tapped into your phone. That van outside really has been out there a long time.

There are no risks, as long as you use a pre-agreed coded language that only you and your colleague use. Some people think they can get away with speaking Klingon or Welsh but unfortunately a few thousand people in the world can speak this and they are probably all sat next to you on the train right now taking notes of what you are saying. They are basically employed to spy on you. You are not alone. Big brother is watching!

Go into the loo to take your call is more secure. The over-whelming stench of piss and that used confom and/or needle are a small price to pay when you're telling your colleague you'll be ten minutes late for the meeting. Remember, you ARE being followed and the information you are discussing could affect you and your organisation.

Which of the following statements are true?

All documents must be shred and properly recycled by professionals. You cannot take shredded paper home to use as hamster bedding as your hamster may be exposed to sensitive information.

Your bin, at home or work, is not secure. That feeling you are being followed when walking home at night is not in your head. It is someone waiting for you to throw sensitive information into your bin.

Documents are more secure if they have the word PRIVATE or CONFIDENTIAL stamped across them. If you see these words you will imediately stop reading because you know you would never read things you weren't meant to read.

Flood aware video

It's not often that I get to star in a video... and this is no exception.


I recently got involved in producing a video for the Environment Agency to raise flood awareness. It's all about how quickly floods can happen and how you need to be prepared.

Can you spot me in the video? More importantly are you prepared for flooding... do you know if your home or work is at risk and what you would do in a flood situation?

www.environment-agency.gov.uk/flood 

OMG Shoes

"Liam Kyle Sullivan is the director/performer behind LiamShow.com, a collection of funny short films created by and starring Liam. In late 2006, Liam's musical comedy video "Shoes" went viral on YouTube, spawning hundreds of fan remakesand launching Liam's character Kelly into internet stardom. Shoes was selected as a viral video to watch by "Entertainment Weekly," was chosen as one of the top 10 videos of 2007 by YouTube, and went on to win the People's Choice Awardfor "Favorite User-Generated Video" in 2008. Time Magazine listed Shoes in their top 50 YouTube videos of all time."





"Liam's video Muffins, a commercial parody, has become another YouTube smash, with his original posting and fans' re-postings of the video combining for over 20 million views. His follow-up to Shoes, Let Me Borrow That Top, in which Liam plays five of the main characters, was nominated for a 2007 YouTube Video Award in Comedy, and has received over 15 million views."


The Liam Show is absolutely freaking fantastic. There are plenty of guys who do a bit of drag out there and post it on YouTube. This guy isn't one of them, he's created League of Gentlemen esque characters on a tini-tiny budget and been lucky (or savvy?) enough to capture the a massive online following via every main social media channel out there:

• Website:  http://www.liamshow.com/
• YouTube:  http://www.youtube.com/liamkylesullivan
• Twitter:  https://twitter.com/#!/liamshow
• Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/LiamKyleSullivan
• MySpace:  http://www.myspace.com/aliamshow
• IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0838220/
• Wikipedia:   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liam_Kyle_Sullivan

His main character is the awesome "Kelly" with the brilliant catch phrase word "Betch" and "Such a deck". However, there are brilliant secondary characters played by him such as the mother and other spin-off characters such as Kelly's awesome friend Heather (she's a vampire). 

So the dude amazing use of social media - but the main thing is he's fucking hilarious!

Happy birthday to me :-)

 

 

Top 10 UK Meme's

The BBC has announced YouTube's top 10 UK videos.

You can find the list here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-16257294

I've picked my 2011 favourites and pasted them below:



You can't beat the original Nyan cat!
Although Dog tease is pretty cute
As is anyone taking the piss out of Rebcca Black

Some that didn't make the official list but did make some of my personal favs:

You've got to love Lady Gaga, especially when you parody her - check out the halloween special.
And the Cher vs Lady Gaga sketch

Anything Simons Cat really
Nyan cat's Russian counterpart - Russian Nyan cat
Not everyone was a fan of Rebecca Black

Christmas cheer

This short is a bit cheerier than my assortmant of insanity wolf pics from yesterday:

Merry Christmas! from Felix Massie on Vimeo.

Little Mix

Why did Stoats teach Little Mix how to fly?



Seriously, about 40 seconds in they say it, "Stoats taught me to fly..."

Timesheets

We all love timesheets right?

Yeah, none of us do - but if you're trying to get people to do them, or you're the person being told to do them, then perhaps one of these lovely pictures below can help lighten the weekly nagging email that goes out to help motivate the most precious of weekly jobs... filling them out.

More Grindr fails

Well I had a bit of time at lunch so I thought I'd scour the web for some good old Grindr Fail humour:

 

Simon's cat again

Hoorah, another Simon's cat is out to bring me Christmas joy and educate me on the wiseness of not letting your cat near the turkey.

It's a wonderful world

What a brilliant Attenborough ad - just magical.

It's David Attenborough reading the lyrics to "It's a wonderful world" with some glorious footage from across the many brilliant natural history documentaries the BBC have produced. 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/16069118

Contagion

I watched the film Contagion last night. IMDB only gives it 7.1 but I'd give it more, it's a great movie. The film is all about a new infection similar to Sars or H1N1, except it's a lot more aggressive (similar to Spanish Flu).

 Having spent the morning sneezing on my keyboard it definately has got me thinking about how easily a new disease could be spread. In fact, I was just coughing and can now see little spots of flem on my monitor. Grim indeed, should have covered my mouth really but it took me by surprise.

Indeed in our little office, which can be a bit nippy at times, we regularly see a domino effect where one person gets a cold, then someone else, etc, until it's done the rounds in the office.

It's terrifying to think about the possibility of such a disease spread, it's real, it's possible, and in the best case scenario millions die, in the worst most of us do... it's depressing. So I think instead I'm going to focus on the two more serious messages contained within the film Contagion.


Issue 1: Is Gwyneth Paltrow a disease ridden whore who'll kill us all?

Answer concluded by the film Contagion = YES. No seriously, watch the film - her character is a transnational tramp who slags about and kills us all. Seriously, it's hilarious. I actually wonder if they created the film just to take the piss out of Paltrow? The autopsy scene is the best, the cinema audience actually cheered when they cut her head open!!!

Issue 2: Is Matt Damon a hot fatty?

Answer conclucded by the film Contagion = YES. Matt Damon is a caring and loving dad, driven to eat his feelings by his bitch wife Gwyneth Paltrow. Clearly Damon has bulked up for the film, and not in the way most actors bulk up for an action-role, seriously the boy has eaten a lot of pizza. Was it nessasary? Probably yes, if he was his usual sexy-self you'd have sympathised less for him. His lardiness helps you understand why he would have scrapped the barrel and settled for Paltrow, who's constantly jetsetting off to foreign climbs to have sex with horses and eat raw dog meat. The amazing thing is, that even though Damon has gained ALOT of puppy fat, he's still adorably hot.

So the most important message of the film is: Look after yourself or Gwyneth Paltrow will give you a disease and you'll never get a girl/boyfriend (unless you're Matt Damon). 

But seriously, watch the film - it's good!

Now wash your hands!

Dreams vs reality

It's good to dream, it's good to have a positive image of yourself - even if it's based on sheer delusion.

Be inspired!

Internet Advertising makes me sad

This morning I'm very sleepy, internet adverts are trying to make me feel bad - to them I say.

I used to look and feel like this.

Today I look and feel like this:

ITS THE WEEKEND, BE HAPPY