Thursday, November 10, 2011


I watched the film Contagion last night. IMDB only gives it 7.1 but I'd give it more, it's a great movie. The film is all about a new infection similar to Sars or H1N1, except it's a lot more aggressive (similar to Spanish Flu).
 Having spent the morning sneezing on my keyboard it definately has got me thinking about how easily a new disease could be spread. In fact, I was just coughing and can now see little spots of flem on my monitor. Grim indeed, should have covered my mouth really but it took me by surprise.

Indeed in our little office, which can be a bit nippy at times, we regularly see a domino effect where one person gets a cold, then someone else, etc, until it's done the rounds in the office.

It's terrifying to think about the possibility of such a disease spread, it's real, it's possible, and in the best case scenario millions die, in the worst most of us do... it's depressing. So I think instead I'm going to focus on the two more serious messages contained within the film Contagion.

Issue 1: Is Gwyneth Paltrow a disease ridden whore who'll kill us all?

Answer concluded by the film Contagion = YES. No seriously, watch the film - her character is a transnational tramp who slags about and kills us all. Seriously, it's hilarious. I actually wonder if they created the film just to take the piss out of Paltrow? The autopsy scene is the best, the cinema audience actually cheered when they cut her head open!!!

Issue 2: Is Matt Damon a hot fatty?

Answer conclucded by the film Contagion = YES. Matt Damon is a caring and loving dad, driven to eat his feelings by his bitch wife Gwyneth Paltrow. Clearly Damon has bulked up for the film, and not in the way most actors bulk up for an action-role, seriously the boy has eaten a lot of pizza. Was it nessasary? Probably yes, if he was his usual sexy-self you'd have sympathised less for him. His lardiness helps you understand why he would have scrapped the barrel and settled for Paltrow, who's constantly jetsetting off to foreign climbs to have sex with horses and eat raw dog meat. The amazing thing is, that even though Damon has gained ALOT of puppy fat, he's still adorably hot.

So the most important message of the film is: Look after yourself or Gwyneth Paltrow will give you a disease and you'll never get a girl/boyfriend (unless you're Matt Damon)

But seriously, watch the film - it's good!

Now wash your hands!