"How many times have you wasted an hour of your life in a
rubbish presentation? It’s horrible isn’t it? You
sit there, glued to your chair whilst some suit stands in front
of you droning on about something. I’ve thought about it
and I’ve come up with something like 900 hours –
that’s 900 hours of my life being killed by PowerPoint...
From now on I’m going to follow the following rules whilst
sitting through a presentation:
1. When the presenter says “this is interactive, please
ask questions if you have any” I’m going to stand up
and ask him/her why he’s/she’s here. In fact I
intend to question everything.
2. If he/she starts using words
that I have banned or don’t understand I’m going
to stand up and ask what the word means. I will do this because
I am convinced that they do not know what the word means.
the presenter is boring me I intend to tell them (not show
them), and I intend to tell them why.
4. If the presenter reads
the bullet points word for word then I will join them. I will
read their bullet points word for word too. In fact I may sing
5. If the terms “ducks in a row”,
“pushing the envelope” or any other bullshit terms
are used in the presentation I will stand up and turn my back to
the presenter and wait for an apology.
6. If the presentation
reaches slide 32 I will leave the room.
7. If the presenter has
slides with more than twenty words I will stand up and demand
pictures and a hand book.
8. If the presenter shows me a list of
clients, or worse a slide full of client logos I will stand up,
take out my wallet walk to the presenter and show him pictures
of my children.
9. If the presenter hasn’t managed to
make me laugh within the first 2 minutes I will start laughing.
10. If the presentation is a corporate template I will leave the
room before the presentation starts."