This may explain why I don't have any children.
Be warned, cooking your testicles with your laptop should be avoided at all costs.
Other activities which cause serious nadger harm and should be avoided:
- Drying them directly on open fires
- Placing them in Microwaves
- Trimming pubes with secateurs
- Giving to dog as chew toy - this is a FALSE economy.
- Slamming in car door
- Nailing to desk for a bet (I've heard someone did this - urban myth?)
- Jumping onto your bike seat without safety arrangement
- Covering in peanut butter and encouraging a goat to pleasure you (Goats love peanut butter!)
- Sticking them in a £1 whore
Don't do it!